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Author: jhlucas (page 1 of 5)

Escape…

July 24, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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★ ★ ★ ★ “An entertaining read about friendship and the survival of hope, set in a vividly imagined world.” -Examiner.com

“Wonder, humor, and terrorizing fantasy creatures. A really enjoyable read, really well done!” -Writership 

Welcome to Saharizona, the “poison sands” spoken of in the forbidden Prophecy Song, where only the strange survive. Gigantulas and cowyotes, buffalopes and attactus, biker gangs and Chinese cowboys…

So when Cash and his friends set out in search of a mythical island in Calitopia, they know their chances are slim. What they don’t know is someone is following them. Something. The Red Enforcer – half man, half machine, no mercy. Determined to stop them and put an end to the Prophecy once and for all.

And as the relentless cyborg closes in, Cash is required to pit friendship against fate. But how can you choose between saving your friends or saving the future?

Check out the first book in the series, now available in paperback or e-book at Amazon! Click here to check it out…

A quick read, going fast…

July 21, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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I’m almost out of my FREE BOOK! It’s a quick read for fans of Chuck Palahniuk, Hunter S. Thompson, Mark Leyner, Charles Bukowski, and other purveyors of Bizarro Fiction… A foul-mouthed fable about a messed-up superhero and his search for love, revenge, and a good cup of coffee…

“A fever dream with the kinds of people you’d only meet while battling pneumonia in the hospital…” –Scott Coblio, writer/director of Murderess: the Winnie Ruth Judd Story

Solomon starts his first session of anger management with a simple confession: “My marriage counselor says I should grow some balls.” Less than 24 hours later, he finds himself mired in a dark underworld of crime, violence, and ill-advised self-improvement.

“Hilarious chaos verging on the sublime… The laughs are spring-loaded, and Lucas’s voice is sharp and distinct.”

So click here to get it for free right now! And join my mailing list for more wacko stuff!

Trumpocalypse Now?

July 20, 2016 / / 0 Comments

TrumpocalypseNow

Fear fatigue. You have it too? The pundits are predicting a face-melting future and everybody’s afraid that the sky is falling. But at the end of the day, all these end-of-the-world rants are just, well… rants, aren’t they?

See, I grew up under the threat of nuclear war. The leaders of the two most powerful countries in the world — the US and Russia — both announced they were willing to nuke each other. They publicly decreed they would nuke the world! So forgive me if this fear of a boardroom blowhard Oompa-Loompa leaves me just a little bit underwhelmed.

I refuse to give in to fear, to be controlled by it. We’re better than that.

That’s why I wrote “Escape to Ash Island” — to share a vision of a world after all this has gone. A new world, rising from the ashes of the old. Full of hope and humor and humanity. It’s a weird book. It’s not for everybody. Not the usual doom-and-gloom that most dystopian novels give us. Because I believe, in the end, we’ll live past all this fear, and start building a better world for everybody.

★ ★ ★ ★ “An entertaining read about friendship and the survival of hope, set in a vividly imagined world.” –Examiner.com

“Healthy doses of wonder, humor, and terrorizing fantasy creatures. A really enjoyable read, really well done!” –Writership

So if you want to get a glimpse of a different future, check it out. You’ve got nothing to lose but fear itself. Huzzah!

PS: to keep up with what’s happening next, join my mailing list!

I am a refugee from the US…

July 15, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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Tucked deep inside the bag’s nether regions (OMG you saw the Trump-Pence logo, right?) is a helpful list of Spanish phrases. These will come in handy in your escape to Mexico, when you need to translate useful phrases like:

How many nutrient-cubes for this scrap metal?

Don’t laugh, you’re gonna need that. And the scrap metal. Nutrient-cubes don’t grow on trees, you know. Well, they might have once. Back when there were trees.

Let’s see what else is in here…

The Donald’s secret love…

July 15, 2016 / / 0 Comments

Wrapped up in a tiny baggie was what appeared to be a necklace with a strange gold disk. But what could be inside the shiny amulet? What magical golden talisman could give me hope in the Trumpocalypse? What secrets could it—OH MY GOD!!!

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It’s the master of hopey/changey himself, Barack Obama! But what could it mean??? Having lost all hope for America’s political future, I rubbed it and made a wish… and dug deeper inside the bug-out bag…

Inside the Trump bug-out bag…

July 15, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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A couple months ago, the crazy card game Cards Against Humanity announced a special collector’s edition bonus pack, aimed to help you survive the impending Trumpocalypse…

Under Trump’s America, you and your family will wander desolate highways, taking shelter in burnt-out automobiles as you escape the Red Dust. You will wish you had the tools to start fires in the terrifying night and protect yourself from roving gangs of bandits. Keep your loved ones safe for only $25.

And thus, the Donald Trump bug-out bag was born. They sold out immediately.

All 10,000 bags have sold out. When Donald Trump is elected President, you will perish in the wasteland. Sorry.

But not before my clever wife got her order in! And yesterday, when we got home from work, it was sitting on our porch, waiting for us. Everything we would need for our future life in Trump’s America.

Filled with glee and apprehension, we took it into the back yard. Because it’s not safe to open such things indoors. Knowing the CvH folks, there’s no telling what’s inside. For all we know, they could’ve drugged up a Chupacabra and stuffed it in there. So into the yard it goes…

Zipping it open slowly, the first thing on top was a small stack of small manila envelopes. Envelope #1…

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Open only in case of dire emergency? There was the electric feeling of impending doom in the air, but no, it wasn’t dire. Not yet. Proceed with caution to envelope #2…

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Currency? Exactly what constitutes currency when a blustering Oompa-Loompa takes over your country? Fearful it might contain unruly hair samples from said Oompa-Loompa, I reached for envelope #3…

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An application for Mexican residency? Had it really come to this? And would it really be recognized? Would they really let me over Trump’s wall to that mythical land of rapists and good people and what-not?

Clutching the envelopes in my trembling hands, I knew I wasn’t ready for what was inside. But I had no choice. I had to keep going…

For the full reveal, join my mailing list!

Old truck mystery…

July 1, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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When I say “karma realm” do you ask “where?”
Do you know they had a university there?
And a red firetruck that ran around?
Until the college burned to the ground?

Did you see the smoke from the fire?
Ask yourself, have you been higher?
Has that truck passed to a higher plane?
Like a firefly in the pouring rain?

All these questions and endless more
Lie scattered on the forest floor.
So judge the fireman if you must,
While his valiant truck parks in dust.

But know one day your emergency call
On sacred karmic ears may fall,
And the truck they send from other realms
Is rusting out among the elms.

A secret story…

June 24, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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Exclusively for members of the TEAM HAVOC mailing list: Echo Forever, the short story that became Generation Havoc. It all started here, in an abandoned skyscraper in flooded downtown San Francisco, where a young woman named Echo tries to piece together what happened when the world went dark. Sign up now to get your free copy!

Take the free chapter challenge

June 9, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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The first book in the Generation Havoc series is now available on Amazon! Early reviews are starting to come in…

stars_Amazon_5  stars-Goodreads_4

Funny and compelling… Captivating characters… Difficult to put down… A joy to read… I can’t wait for the sequel…

To get the first chapter of Escape To Ash Island for free, sign up now!

Hump day hulabaloo

June 8, 2016 / / 0 Comments

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Hey there! Guess what? If you join Team Havoc you get the first chapter of Escape to Ash Island for free. It’s a good way to see if this is your kind of book. Like one Goodreads reviewer said, “I’m not much of a YA reader, however, I have been pleasantly surprised.” So please yourself on hump day! (Yeah, I said that.) Just click to sign up!

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